Jul 17, 2011


I was so lucky this past week to have two of my flight school wife friends, one of which is the same unit as my husband and I, visit me in Dallas.

It was great being able to talk to people again that knew about the Army life culture and even have someone going through all this deployment stuff with me. We literally talked about everything under the sun.

This also included the FRG for our unit and the other wives. Yes, I know that FRG's can be a little "high school" and clicky and it turns out this has already begun, and I am already being gossiped about. To start with, being an Officers wife in a unit full of Warrant Officers, Sargent's, and lower ranks {etc.}. I was asked to help head up the FRG for our company. I turned it down because, since I am living in Texas and all the other families are in Kansas, I did not think I could do it justice and be there for everyone like I would like to or  expected to be, but I would still help out in any way I could. Turns out, the ladies in the unit did not respect my choice, and my friend told me that the woman were saying that I was not "living up to an Officers wife standard." Really ladies?!?

Next, my friend mentioned that a lot of the women, then brought up the fact, that I am not doing my job as a wife and Army wife in general. The reason, because I am in Texas while my husband serves Kansas and I am not around his family/his life/fill in whatever you want here. Really ladies?!?

There were a few other things thrown in there too, but I was just so shocked with the first two comments that I kind of zoned out the others.

I told my friend thank you for telling me, and she even told me she had my back and was getting ostracized herself for having it, but did not care because the way these woman were acting was childish and not setting the standard of what we as military spouses stood for - respect, class, and being roll models.

Could not agree more.

As for me and how I am going to handle it...that's the tricky part. I have a feeling the women will put on their fake smiles and put on a show when ever we are in the same room, but as soon as I walk out start talking again. I will treat them with respect and remind them {if I do catch them, or hear them talking disrespectfully}, that my husband and I are doing what is right and the best choices for us and if that means I am able to be around people who care about me, have my back, with a job that I love enough to help ease that pain of deployment time so be it. Not to mention, that even though I am hundreds of miles away from the unit and FRG, that if any of them needed me I would be there in a heart beat, because after all, we are going through this together.

Sorry for the little rant, but it just blows me away that these woman have judged me without even meeting me/getting to know me. I also have a feeling this will make the deployment harder on me because I doubt a lot of them will fill me in on the going ons or really want to support me all the way down here.

Yes, this is me throwing out some judgement of my own but I already feel alone and to hear this is already happening makes me feel even more removed. However, {now that I got my feelings out} I am going to be myself, be respectful, and not let this information taint my relationships with these fellow Army Guard wives until I actually have the chance to meet them face to face.


  1. Add the FRG members on facebook, "like" the unit's page if it has one. When they don't see you, some of them judge and make things up, and some will listen because they don't have anything to disprove it. Having them as fb friends mean you're more likely to get the little information, though you'll have to sift through the drama.
    You're not alone, you're not the only one in that FRG that feels that way, I promise! Its all pre-deployment tension, and things get better once they're boots on the ground.

    You're doing great.

  2. Thanks so much for the advice and the kind words! I will for sure do both of those things. Hopefully it will help with the tension and open their eyes a little bit too.