I'm Here

Hello my fellow military wives. I know I have been a little, ok A LOT, mia. I don't even have a good reason, I just kind of ran away from everything for a while.

I hid in work and have tried to hid from my thoughts in the shuffle and bustle of life.

It is not a good thing to do I know, especially since I am on the downward slope of my first deployment. My husband, when I talked to him the other day, even told me that he doesn't know what's going on with me, my voice was/is off and he is worried about what that might mean.

Honestly, I was too for a little bit. I just became numb and super lonely.

No worries, I did not do anything stupid or even think that way! But I think everything with the deployment and the fact that for over 2 years I have hardly got to spend time with my husband is kicking my butt and making a huge crack in our relationship and in life.

I am also starting to get super nervous with the fact the deployment is almost over and life will finally have a chance to get to a "normal."

Jokingly {kind of}, I asked my friend the other day at lunch, "What if I don't like him anymore or our lifestyles actually don't match?" Again, I know this is silly but I also feel like it's a normal thought process for an Army wife right at the start and middle of deployment one.

My head is still reeling, as you can tell, but I am trying to get back to a more normal state of life and functionality. Blogging and connecting to this community is one way I am doing it. I am also starting to hang out with my friends again, as well as working out.

I hope all of you are doing well and I am happy to be back again!

Happy Memorial Day.

To those that gave and give their lives for our freedoms.

AHHHH

This is what I have felt like these past two weeks.

So much for finding some balance...

Finding a Balance

I feel like I have just been living in a blur ever since Easter weekend, and yes I know it has only been a week.

Work is now in its busy season. I am actually at work more than I am at home, and when I do get home it's take the puppies to the dog park for a little outside play time, then I go right to bed. I also had to remind my friends and family that if I don't return phone calls, am slow to text back or don't want to go out on the weekends like I normally do to not take offense.

They just laugh at me, but I have to remind them because this haze that I am living in is only going to get worse as this busy work time continues.

I also had to end a phone call with my husband after 2 min the other day. I sent him an email later apologizing...How horrible is that? I only have so many moments where I can talk/skype with him on this deployment and I have a conversation with him that goes, "Hi, I can't really talk now, but I love you and will talk to you later."

Yep.

It was that moment that I realized if I don't find a balance now it is going to snowball and wear me out.

How I am going to do this, not to sure yet. But one thing I do know is I don't want to have a phone call with my husband like that again.

Happy Easter

Was surprised by a little Easter bunny yesterday afternoon, courtesy of my husband.

I hope you all out their in blogger land are having a relaxing weekend with family, and remembering the true meaning behind it all.

Rock It!

This morning, my alarm went off at 4:30 a.m., I rolled out of bed, got dressed and headed downtown.

What was I doing this early on a Sunday? That's simple, running my first half marathon!

Yep, all that training I was talking about for months was finally about to pay off. I met a few of my run group members and crossed the start line of the Rock n' Roll half marathon at 8:15 a.m. The weather was a little on the hot side, and I had to stop at one of the medical stations around mile 6 due to a sharp pain in my foot thanks to my shoe.

2 hours and 45 min. later I finished the race and was greeted by a group of my friends.

Man, even though I have jello legs now it felt amazing.

So happy I get to cross running a half marathon off of my bucket list. Now, to convince my husband to run one with me when he gets back.

Military One Source

I am sure you have all heard about Military One Source  but I took the plunge and am actually using them.

This past weekend I was at my best friends wedding {fun post about that later this week after I go through pictures} and it was pretty hard seeing her tie the knot with the person she loves more than anything, while mine couldn't be there. Not to mention, I got to watch on the sideline for every couple song and watch as people were all "lovey-dovey." It's just hard to get through, sigh.

Plus, I have had a few rough patches with my emotions these past few months. Yeah, it's normal for the first deployment, and the one after that, and so on and so forth. So, instead of sitting in this happy/stressed/depressed roller coaster I decided to take action and get myself figured out. This will also help when the deployment is over so I can help my husband with the true support he needs.

As for the phone call to the counseling services department, it went well. The woman on the phone was very nice, helpful, and forgiving when I had to catch my breath every now and then to pull up some more courage. We were also lucky enough to get me connected to a counselor, 5 miles away from my home this week.

I am going to be completely honest, I was keeping my fingers crossed that it wouldn't happen so quickly.  Lame, yes, but it is a scary thing, finally getting the courage to ask for help then ~POOF~ you have it a few days later. The woman I am now going to start this lovely journey with sounded nice on the phone, but who knows. It's a stranger I get to go and talk to for an hour/hour-and-a-half about my life, I can't even talk to my bffs about a lot of this stuff and now I have to open up to a complete stranger.

While it does scare me to do this, I made the plunge to become happy again and sort my stuff out to make the life for me and my soldier better than when we started this whole thing. I will let you know how this lovely journey unfolds but I do think it's an amazing support we have as military families. We just all have to be brave enough to use it when we need too.

So True

My wonderful husband sent me this article, "What A Military Spouse Knows." It, once again, gave me strength at the right time to remind me I am not alone and stronger than anyone could imagine.

(click on the article headline to read the story)

Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss

Leap Day

I learned today why we actually have a Feb. 29 every four years, to make us {the Earth} catch up with the rest of the universe. Yep, true story.

Once my officemate and I looked up that information, we then started thinking back to four years ago and where we were in our lives. That would have been 2008 and I would have been ending my junior in of college. Not to mention, my husband was just my friend and I had no idea what I was going to do, other than party in my senior year.

Flash forward four years to now...in that time I got a dog, graduate, got married, made it through flight school, moved three times, landed my dream job, and did I mention started living through my first ever deployment as an Army wife. Wow, let me catch my breath.

After we had our flash back I then shot to this massive question in my head, what will I be flashing back to in the next four years?

Most likely and hopefully we will own our own home, I will have gotten a promotion or even moved on to a whole new job, my husband might be getting ready for another deployment, and {an even scarier thought for me right now} start our family.

.........

You know what, I am really ok with all of those things if and when they happen. So I guess I am raising my glass and taking my LEAP.

See you in four years Feb. 29!

Silent Strength

Today while I was out and about running errands, I had {about 40 year old} woman come up to me in the grocery store park lot. I thought I might have dropped or forgotten something, but to my surprise she stopped me for another reason all together.

She stopped me to thank me.

Yep, to thank me. She saw the Army wife license plate cover on my car and waited for me to come back out of the store. I was shocked and told her she did not have to wait or to thank me. She insisted that she had to and that more people needed to thank me and other Army wives more.

She then went on to tell me about her grandmother who was an Army wife, and all the stories she told her growing up. Then, when she was old enough to fully comprehend them she realized that while the military men do the "dangerous" work, it was the women behind them that take on so much more. We have to hold down the fort, push through alone, and be the SILENT STRENGTH of the armed forces.

That whole conversation {about 20 min} almost brought tears to my eyes. To end it, she told me thank you again and asked if she could give me a hug and put me in her prayers. Of course I said yes.

So in turn, I would like to extend the small thank you I got to all of you other military wives. So THANK YOU! Thank you for being that silent strength that help our guys do what they need to do.

Nothing

Right now, I am laying on my couch, one puppy laying next to me, the other curled up sleeping on the floor. I have a Project Runway marathon on in the back ground, while the rain is pouring outside. Doing nothing like this is wonderful.

As for what I did earlier today and my plan for tomorrow, a lot more of nothing. I have been so busy the last two months with traveling, helping my friends plan their two weddings while attending two bridal showers/parties in two different cities, that this "I'm not moving" mind set is wonderful. I do have to run tomorrow, since my marathon is a month and a half away, but I don't want to think about that right now.

My husband also sent me an email with a list of things he would like to go over some time soon since we are on the down hill of the deployment. Once again, I am pushing that off until a later date. Well, I think I am going to go get some ice cream and see who wins this fashion challenge.

VDay

I am one of those people out there that think Valentines Day is a "card and candy company" holiday. Personally, you should tell the people you love and care about them that you love and care about them 365 days a year. True, with my husband gone on his deployment and everyone around me at work today figuring out what they were going to pick up on the way home to their wives/fiances/girl friends {remember I work with 30 guys} it made me a little more nostalgic for the holiday, but non the less...not a fan of the lovey-dovey holiday.

However, I think this is super cute and the perfect day to share. Hope you all are enjoying your evenings what ever your view of the holiday may be.

ALOHA!

Well, I finally got my self unpakced, caught up and have photos edited from my husbands R and R. To make this {quick} the time as stress free as possible, we decided to go to the BIG island of Hawaii. The trip was absolutely amazing, not to mention we actually got to spend some time together.

To start with my husband and I got to spend a day or two before we left. I will give you a hint on who else was very excited about this fact...

While in Texas we had a surprise mini-date to celebrate for my husbands birthday.

Then we ventured to the Dallas Museum of Art. It was their "Late Night" so there was music and the museum is open later than normal. We both enjoyed winding our way through all the exsibits. On the way out we even saw some lady be zipped tied and arrested.

The next day was full of packing and getting ready for our trip. When we arrived in Kona, the sun was already down so we drove to the hotel in nothing but star light. We stayed at the Hilton Waikoloa Village, and just like everything with the trip, the hotel was awesome. It is on 62 acres of prime ocean real-estate, it has three guest buildings {we stayed in Palace Tower}, an ocean lagoon, three pools, seven resturants of all different kinds, and to get around the hotel you had three options — walk, take the tram {like one you would find in a Disney resort} or the boat. Nope, not making this stuff up.

Not to mention, as you walked around the hotel they had art/artifacts from all over the world.

Even had a giant Indian statue that people called "Buddha Point" where you could sit right next to the ocean and see, what seemed like, a million stars.

As for what we did around the hotel, well that's simple, everything! We hung out with some fun animals including snorkeling with sea turtles and whale watching every day, ate some yummy food, explored the beaches, kept up my training for the half marathon, rented out one of the numerous water fun toys, and of course relaxed.

There were two big highlights of hotel outings. The first was that we got to SWIM WITH DOLPHINS! It was so much fun! We had three other great ladies in our group, and our dolphin trainer Lindsey was so sweet.

We were also lucky enough to swim with the alpha male, Nimbus, a 41 year old {that's ridiculously old for a dolphin} Eva, and her five month old baby Ipu. He was so adorable, fisty and fun!

It was such a great experience I really can't put it into words.

I will come back to our last hotel adventure later. Next, I will talk about our island adventures, and before I do that, a side note about Hawaii. As you drive around any of the islands, you hit pretty much every type of landscape and climate you could imagine. From farm land to jungle, desert to snow capped mountains, it's just amazing all you see in a one day island drive.

On our second full island day we explored the North part of the island all the way down to Hilo. We lucked out on the weather, making the drive even nicer and our rental car, we were given a Jeep. Our biggest stop, Akaka Falls National Park. It was so pretty, so green and so lush.

Our next trip, two days later, was to take that same North route to get to the South part of the island and Volcano National Park. I know that seems weird, but from where the hotel is, it was half of one, half of the other. We also finished the drive going the other way so we made a full island loop. Also, for our car on this leg, a convertible.

Sorry, I digressed. Volcano National Park is awesome. You feel like you are in a movie with the steam vents and all the lava. It was in the top moments of the trip for my husband and I always find it fascinating. Unfortunately, unlike the other times I have been there, there was no close flow to see. Still amazing sights.

Now, back to our other resort adventure, the Luau. Our last evening we spent enjoying a modern day luau, with great food and good company. As for the performance, it was very entertaining with so many different styles of dance. Not to mention, the audience participation parts...classically hilarious.

Our last day (flight was at night) was spent packing and relaxing by the ocean. The last sunset we had was an amazing way to end the trip, and as we were watching it set, my husband joked that it would be cool if a whale would pop up in-front of it. Well guess what, one did {left hand side of the pic}. Just a magical way to end the trip.

Oh my goodness, I can't believe I almost forgot this part. I LOVED THERE FRESH MANGO SMOOTHIES!

When we returned to Dallas we celebrate my husbands birthday one more time with one of his favorite homemade meals and a birthday cake and two days later we were making our way back to the airport to send him off for the last part of the deployment.

All-in-all, our first R and R as a married couple was better than I could have imagined and it made me realize that time really has flown by with this whole thing.